A most heroic quest

Three men embark on what may the most heroic quest of the 21st century: finding the worst bar drink.

Here's an excerpt from their first stop:

Ye should be tryin' the Green Chartreuse!" he said. "Tis more terrible than the screech of a Ring Wraith riding its steed down yer throat!" Green Chartreuse is a liqueur that was invented when Satan was tired of peeing in the mouths of the damned with his eight-headed penis. Charlie dusted off the bottle from the nether regions of the bar, and as he opened the bottle I heard the bark of Cerebus, faintly, but distinctly. It didn't pour into the glasses so much as it flowed, its color and consistency an exact match for the mysterious green chemical they use to charge porto-potties. I thanked him, tipped him generously, gathered up the shots and brought them to our table.

Go read the whole thing; funniest thing I've seen in some time.