Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The game is called SlugBUG for a reason, folks

What the hell is up with this “red one,” “blue one” Volkswagon commercial shit? I hadn’t thought about slugbug in years. Decades. Then this freaking semi-funny commercial comes on and they’re all “red one,” and we’re all “Yes, Mr. Wonder, you’re right,” even though it's a yellow cab.

Because of this commercial, my kids have picked up the habit. My middle child, Daughter Number 2, has developed the ability to pick out a Volkswagon with laser accuracy. She keys in on them in a 360-degree perimeter before anyone even realizes their approach. “White one!” she yells and smacks someone. I think she’d make a hell of a forward observer.

I can’t stand this though. First, I don’t like the kids hitting each other. Not in the car anyway. It just makes them too angry at each other and it gets too noisy too fast. Mostly, though, I hate the fact that they’ve perverted the game of slugbug. Think back, folks, you didn’t smack your best pal remorselessly on the arm when you saw a Mircrobus or a Rabbit; no, you saved the best, knuckle-forward smacks for when you caught the rare, faded orange VW Bug puttering ‘round a corner. It was never (or rarely) a free-for-all. It was a rare thing.

So, DN2 asks, “Why does it have to be a slugbug?” My wife answers, “Because your father doesn’t like change.”

Pshaw. I am fine with change. I just respect tradition.

UPDATE: FYI, this "punch dub" nonsense must be stopped.


Lisa said...

Hope your kids never learn "Cougar Pinch."


Cullen said...

For a Mercury Cougar? First I've heard of it.

nightfly said...

VW didn't sell enough of the new bugs, I guess. But getting the game wrong when it's your own company is kinda inexcusable.

Besides, the whole point is that a bug is distinct and easily-spotted. That's why kids didn't play "Slug Buick" growing up. At twenty yards, it's difficult to tell a Jetta from its Nissan, Honda, or Toyota equivalent, at least at a glance.

The past five years have spent all of their time trying to ruin my childhood memories with their unoriginal, and unimaginative re-boots of toys, games, and movies, and it's got to stop.