More meme: Facts

1. My uncle once: snapped a car door off its hinges to pull somebody out of a car. He was a violent dude sometimes.
2. Never in my life: have I jumped out of an airplane. I was asked if I wanted to go to Airborne school many times while I was in the Army. I always answered an emphatic, “No!”
3. When I was five: I lived in Great Fall, Montana and my brother was born.
4. High School is: four years long. If you’re lucky.
5. My parents are: polar opposites. My mom is a timid, polite person with an odd sense of humor. My dad is a short, loud, quick-to-anger man with a great sense of humor.
6. I once met: former Vice President, presidential hopeful and former ambassador to Japan, Walter Mondale. He attended a special event we were holding on our installation on Okinawa. He was drunk.
7. There's this girl I know who: … um know or knew? I don’t know many girls any more. I knew this girl who was convinced she could tell the future, not like, divine the future from Tarot cards or a crystal ball, but rather just look at you and tell your future. She couldn’t.
8. Once, at a bar: wouldn’t you like to know.
9. Last night: I re-watched Lost and had a fantastic homemade pot pie.
10. Next time I go to church: will be when my kids are doing some special program or something.
11. When I turn my head left, I see: My credenza, which holds a bunch of recorded CD archives of our newspaper, my phone, my reference books (AP Styleguide, etc.).
12. When I turn my head right, I see: My right return on my desk. I has my desk calendar and is where I read papers and such.
13. How many days until my birthday?: 26 days.
14. If I was a character written by Shakespeare I'd be: I can’t begin to analyze myself through Shakespeare. Probably somebody in a crowd somewhere.
15. By this time next year: it will be one year later.
16. A better name for me would be: I like my name, which is actually my middle name.
17. I have a hard time understanding: how anyone could think more federal government could help ANYTHING, much less health care or other social programs. (I can’t say it any better than this. Thanks Lisa).
18. If I ever go back to school I: I'd be a lawyer (also stolen from Lisa). I almost got out of the Army at my four-year mark to do this very thing.
19. You know I like you if: I go out of my way to show you something or prove something to you.
20. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: my wife and kids.
21. Take my advice: being an enlisted man is easier on the soul; being an officer is easier on the pocketbook.
22. My ideal breakfast is: Black coffee.
23. If you visit my hometown: you’ll probably drive right through it and not even know.
24. Why won't someone: shut Sean Penn up?
25. If you spend the night at my house: you’ll sleep in my baby’s room on a pretty nice futon.
26. I'd stop my wedding: … um, a bit late, but I guess if something tragic happened.
27. The world could do without: $cientology, Tom Cruise, et al.
28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick the belly of a slug.
29. Paper clips are more useful than: staples. While staples are more permanent, they don’t have near the amount of uses as a paper clip.
30. If I do anything well, it is: procrastinating.
31. And by the way: if you must use your cell phone in your car, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A HANDS-FREE DEVICE! Dammit.

w/t to Lisa, via Sheila.