So, I finally saw Clerks 2 ...

And I hated it. And, more than that, I hate that I hated it.

See, I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan. Big, big Kevin Smith fan. Like, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is one of my favorite movies ever, big fan. For someone to admit that in writing out here in the ether, you know I have to be a big fan.

Prior to this movie, there wasn't a Kevin Smith film I didn't like.

To me, Clerks 2 just feels like a shade of his pre-Jersey Girl movies. Clerks 2 is a horrible mesh of the frenetic energy of his earlier films and the sappiness of Jersey Girl and the two do not mesh. And I'm a fan of Jersey Girl.

Jersey Girl works for me in the way that most chick flicks work for the women folk. It pushes the right buttons to make me feel something, it's funny enough, emotional enough and delivers a sappy, happy ending. I fully understand that it's not good film making. But it was, for me, an enjoyable and touching movie.

Clerks 2 fails because it captures none of his earlier manic force or the sentimental sappiness of Jersey Girl. Some of this is because the main roles required more acting ability than Brian O'Halloran or Jeff Anderson could muster. They're fine with all they have to do is deliver witty quips and O'Halloran has to act harried. But when they have to convince us their emotional turmoil ... well, let's say that it would have been nice to have Assfleck. And I hate Affleck.

I avoided reviews of this movie like the plague because I really didn't want them to taint my POV. I just checked Rotten Tomatoes and am shocked to see that it did so well. I mean, I honestly thought this movie fell flat. I didn't laugh once during the entire thing.

Each to his own, I guess.