Sunday, April 04, 2010

Other people and their children

I was in Walmart yesterday doing some last-minute Easter shopping. During the trip, I had an encounter that made me want to hit a man more than I can remember ever wanting to hit someone.

Before I get into the incident, I want to preface this by saying that I play with my kids. I mean, we have a banter. I tell them that I’m gonna smack ‘em upside the head. I tell them that they’re wusses. I call them weak. But it’s in fun. They say the same things to me. It’s only when we’re playing around. I also make sure that I only say things like this at appropriate times. When we’re wrestling around, physically or verbally, or whatever – we’re playful folks but there are no doubts whatsoever how we feel about one another or how close we are.

OK, so the wife and I are in Walmart and it’s a bit of a madhouse. We’re in the seasonal aisle picking over the slim remainders when I overhear a dad verbally disciplining his kid. He tells the child, “Your attitude is disgusting. You need to change your attitude or we just might cancel Easter.” Perhaps a bit harsh, but I’ve had to make such threats before. I don’t know what this guy is getting on to his kid for. Heck the kid could have been threatening to run over his sister with a lawnmower for all I know. I didn’t think much about it.

Seconds later I’m on the other side of their cart where I can see them and the dad’s still going at his boy. Now I see the young ‘un is about 5 or 6 and is now sitting in the cart, legs pulled up to his chest, arms circling them, and is just bawling. Then, THEN, the dad says to the boy: “You are such a wuss. I’ve never seen such a wuss as you.”

I’ve got to tell you folks – I almost went to jail last night. Were I more of a man, perhaps I should. I feel guilty that I didn’t at least say something. I don’t know though, on the other hand, I don’t want other people butting into my life. I guess I hope that that kind of verbal abuse isn’t common. I hope that if it is, the mom sees through it someday soon and realizes what it’s doing to their kids. I’ve got that poor boy’s image burned in my mind and if I ever see that dude in Walmart again, he better hope he’s being nice.

8 comments:

Andy said...

Cullen, as you probably know, I've got 4 sons...aged 29 to 13. There has ALWAYS been the parent/child banter of "you're a wuss, go get your big girl panties, etc." And, it's always been in fun.

They always gave as good as they got. I learned 'em right...always with a crooked smile, a "redneck drawl" while engaging in the fun, etc.

But, I've seen what you describe. Little guys (5 or 6 years old) don't know what's funny, or what's serious. It sounds like this man (term used in it's loosest sense) has some real issues, and probably was not doing the "fatherly jesting" deal.

It's a tough place to be...and, I've been there. You want to say something, but doubt that any good will come of it. You'll understand when I say that #2 on my frustration list are parents letting their children run wild, and terrorize other shoppers in stores.

Third on my list is when I see a beaten-down spouse being humiliated in public by their husband/wife/significant other...or whatever.

It's tough for kids in a perfect home. How much more difficult must it be for a little guy like the one you describe? Much more, for sure.

Heck, when I was a very young father (in my early 20s), my temper OFTEN got the best of me. I said some things, and reacted to normal childish behavior in a VERY wrong way. I have kicked myself often as I matured, and learned better. Perhaps this "father" will also grow up one day, and repair the breeches built in that young boy's spirit.

We can sure hope so.

But, don't go to jail over somebody else's problem. Just sayin'...

Cullen said...

Thanks Andy. You're right, of course. It was hard though. That stuff just really bothers me.

Randi Wilhelmsen said...

And this is exactly why I stay FAR away from Walmart when I am having a bad day. There are always some idiots like this at Walmart, every day, at any given time. I do feel your frustrations.

Cullen said...

I've ran into grumpy folks. I've run into all kinds of rude folks. But I've never had an experience quite like this.

Andy said...

Randi, I'd just caution you to stay away from Albertson's, Home Depot, the Post Office, Valero Gas Stations, Dillards, your bank, your church, public parks, public libraries, Burger King, Pizza Hut, and Tupperware parties when you're having a bad day.

Assiness is not confined to Wally World. Just sayin'...

Cullen said...

Randi's just a raging ball of frustration, Andy. :P

Andy said...

Nyuk! I think we all get that way from time to time.

Randi Wilhelmsen said...

Andy, I am like that most of the time. And I agree that stupid people are everywhere, but my experience is there are more of them at Wally World. And Cullen, the nickname courtesy of Caylin is little ball of hate. Your raging ball of frustration works too. :)