Poop. In the tub.

There are perils to having a 21-month-old around the house.

Safety locks must be installed on all cabinets. Outlet covers should be plugged in, and child gates can help keep the youngsters out of places you don't want them going into -- sometimes. And still, regardless of all the preparations you make, there are still things they're going to get into.

No matter how many times you tell them to leave the DVDs alone ... well, it's your fault for not putting them out of their reach. Crayons, better get a safe for those things, otherwise you'll be putting Magic Eraser to wall scrubbing off Picaso's latest work.

Still, after a day's worth of scrubbing, picking up off the floor, feeding, hiding, moving, saving and generally just having fun with, there's one thing that you're never prepared for -- Poop. In the tub.

My wife had taken dinner to a local family. I'm alone with three kids and the boy poops in the tub. Dammit.

So, that's a cleaning adventure it itself. You get him out, clean him up with some wipes and throw a towel around him so he's not too cold. You still see him shiver as you pick up the toys out of the tub -- sponges, nerf-style balls and the like all destined for the trash -- and move them into a hot-water-bleach soak. But the child still needs a good scrubbing, since he seems to think fecal matter is a good soap alternative.

I fire up the shower and get in holding him and sheer terror sets in. His eyes go wide. He's crying and struggling against me -- not too hard, he doesn't want to fall -- enough to let me know that he doesn't want to be there. My son says few words. He says Mommy, Ma-ma, Daddy and Da-da a good bit, but his favorite word (and object in the world) is "ball." Given a shower though, he becomes Mr. Friggin Articulate. "I wan ow!" "I wan' ow!" he screamed. "I all dun!" "I all dun!" he wailed. And, realizing his pleas were falling on deaf ears, he resorted to the catch-all cry -- "Mama!" "MAMA!"

And we're done. Within 30 seconds he's laughing again, ready to conquer the world.

But he gives the bathroom wide berth as his sisters begin taking care of their evening showers.