Idol Threat 3/27: The "Top" 10

Jesus help me ... Gwen Stefani night. Could we have any more vapid an artist? Hey, when did Gwen become Madonna?

Thank God they're letting them sing songs that were "influences" of Gwen Stefani.

LaKisha: Gwen says she should be asking her (LaKisha) for singing advice. Probably the smartest thing Gwen's said in quite some time. LaKisha is singing a Donna Summers song, Let's Dance I assume. While she's rocking it pretty solidly, she does have one flaw, IMO, I think her vibrato is bit too extreme for this pace. She either needs to focus on toning it down, or think about a slower tempo song. Otherwise, awesome.

Randy: A'ight, yo. LaKisha, you know what's kind of good, the first time I've heard you do an uptempo joint -- that was hot. Paula: Donna Summers not an easy artist to start out with. Simon: Love those boots ... great LaKisha, now you're 30 years younger this week. This is the LaKisha I love ... great vocal.

Well, definitely better than 8 others we'll hear tonight.

Chris Sligh: Gwen says he needs to focus on the beat. Well, I think she's on on this -- it's a problem he's had this entire competition. He's singing Every Little Thing She Does is Magic by The Police ... he's doing pretty good. Again he's just a bit ahead of the beat -- this issue is really going to kill him in the long run. Other than that, I mean, it was just OK. Nothing amazing.

Randy: A good song choice, biggest problem -- rhythmically, the band was at one tempo and you were at another. What do you make of that -- "I never tried to sing the song before, it was like a masters class for me." Paula: That's probably the biggest amount of criticism I've had -- that you have a hard time staying in the pocket. Simon: Forget pockets, timing all that mess, I thought it was a trainwreck. It was a mess, it was all over the place. It didn't feel right.

Gotta agree with Simon. Chris is the kind of dude I like, but his performances are just falling apart the further we get into this.

Gina: Is totally trying to lesbo up on Gwen "You're a hero of mine." Yeah, whatever. I don't know thi ssong, but I don't think that dressing like a Spartan was the best choice on Gina's part. This isn't 300 or even Clash of the Titans for that matter. Songwise, not so bad. It probably helps that I don't know the song so I can't compare it against the original, but it's nothing I'm being moved by.

She does say, "Thank you!" at the end though, Sarah.

Randy: This must be boot night ... I thought this was one of your best performances ever. You get that thing going ... just believe in yourself. Paula: I love the fact that you're improving every week. The song you picked was great. Best performance so far. Simon: Gina, wasn't one of your best performances ... it was your best performance. This is all about knowing who you are, choosing the right song, the transformation from two weeks ago to tonight was chalk to cheese. Not only your best performance, it was the best performance tonight.

Well, I'm not going that far Simon.

Sanjaya: Um. Hair. Wow. I mean, it's part rooster, part Spartan. Is is 300 night on AI? Hell, I don't know. Oh, the singing, you ask? What the hell do you think? Let's say, it was one of Sanjaya's best. Which is saying that it closely approximated the sound of tongue licking alley dumpster.

Randy: I'm speechless every time. The hairdo is definitely interesting. The end of the song reminded me that you can sing -- just put it out there. Paula: Just go for it ... watching you on stage not going for ... Simon: I presume there was no mirror in your dressing room. Sanjaya, I don't think it matters much what we say anymore. If people like you, good luck.

Haley Doing True Colors and she's in a "sit down pose," so you know it's one of those serious moments. She gets to do her "important stand up" moment. Truly, this is probably one of the best songs I've heard her sing. She's actually belting it out some. More than I've heard her do in this competition thus far. But, honestly, it breaks down to this. Her length of time left in the competition is in direct proportion to the shortness of her skirt. Which was plenty short this week.

Randy: Started rough, it was just kind of all right for me. Didn't grab me with that. Paula: One of those songs .. hard to do ... blah, blah hard song. Simon: How do you think you did? I think it was sweet but forgettable. You'll hear thousands of girls sing just like that around this country. You'll have to better than that.

We'll see guys.

Phil Nosfertatu has some very bizarre makeup on this week. I mean, very bad fake looking. Sings Every Breath You Take and Gwen tells him not to fark with the melody. So, let's hope he listens. Well, well, well ... Phil actually sounds almost just like Sting. I mean, like Val Kilmer doing Jim Morrison close. Anyone who's reading this who watched the show tell me ... is it just me or have they added a hell of a lot of vocal effects? I mean, more than last season definitely but more than the past couple of weeks also?

Randy: You know what man ... ? A really solid performance. I liked it. Paula: Good choice, so much personality and color to your voice, you really live in the choruses, the verses, not much personality. Simon: This may surprise you, Phil, but I actually thought that was very good. Very good choice of song, the first time in the past several weeks that I feel you're taking this competition seriously.

Melinda: Gwen, "She blew me away." She's singing some disco tune and it wearing a very disco looking top. Dudes, what do I have to say here? You know Melinda owns this competition. She's not effing up or anything. I'm glad she's singing an uptempo tune this week though. I like her slower stuff, but I think she really shows her vocal power on these faster tunes.

Randy: (Out of breath) What's so dope here ... the reason I called you a pro last week is because you do more than sing the words, you interpret them and live them. Paula: You have charisma from the word, "Go." Simon: I don't think this is going to be the performance that we look back on and say was the best, but vocally it was great. Hate the outfit.

Blake: Doing a Cure tune. I mean, I don't like the Cure, but he's doing OK with it. My wife says, "He slows things down too much. You can't slow down a Cure song." Probably the biggest criticism of him I've had so far. His voice has a really good tone, but I'm just not fond of the song.

Randy: Not my favorite. Paula: Loved it. Simon: Definitely the strongest guy in the competition. Where you've got to be careful is that you're in this Chris Daughtry zone where you're doing you're own thing. You got to be careful not to get too boring.

Jordin: Singing, Hey Baby from No Doubt. Gwen seemed to like it. She's singing it too low for her vocal range. And now that's she's in the chorus, it seems like her nerves are getting her. Man, I sure miss the Jordin from last week. She's just not on top of her game this week. Toward the end she souls it up a bit, but I think it's too little to late.

Randy: That was a very risk thing to do. Hard to do those stylized those things. You could literally sing anything. You'd make a great recording artist. Paula: And you're cute too. Simon: Probably the most improved contestant over the last few weeks. Only problem with that song is that it was a little copy cat-ish.

Chris Richardson: Singing Don't Speak. Gwen hopes he doesn't do all the vocal gymnastics. Jeebus, she's not the only one. But I feel that way about anything he's ever sang. Or anyone else for that matter. PEOPLE! That vocal gymnastics RUINS SONGS! Ruins them! Sure, it's impressive that you can do it, but it sounds LIKE CRAP! Like freakin' crap. Did Freddy Mercury do it? No. Then you don't have to either.

Fortunately, Christ listened to Gwen.

Randy: That was a very interesting thing. I like your flavor on it. Paula: You're good Chris. Just good. Good. Simon: Wasn't crazy about the vocal. I don't think it was ... you need to pay more attention to your vocals.

Recap: So, another decent week. Much better than I was expecting, folks. I really thought it would be horrible but, thankfully, they allowed the "inspirational" songs. Again, Sanjaya earned a bottom spot, and, again, I hope America gets in there. So, again, I'm going put Sanjaya in my bottom and the other two I'll say Phil and, unfortunately, Chris Sligh. Going home? I have to say Phil.

UPDATE:

Sarahk really liked Gina Glocksen.

Curly McDimple at American Midol thinks Gwen Stefani is retarded.

Dial Idol predicts that Chris Sligh, Haley Scarnato and Jordin Sparks are the bottom three with Chris and Haley sharing the exact bottom slot score. But their margin of error has been so off this year that who knows how accurate any of these predictions are going to be? Any of their bottom six could be gone. The most important thing to note here is that for the first time, Melinda and LaKisha are not both the top two. Melinda is, again, the top one, but Chris Richardson has slipped into the number two slot this week. Sanjaya is, again, predicted to be safe. Dammit.