A hazy shade of summer

Merely existing right now causes me excruciating pain. It’s hard to describe exactly, but it’s what I would imagine it would feel like if someone stabbed me in the back with a small knife and began twisting and rooting around.

Then there’s pain that shoots through my hip, down my leg to my ankle. Along the way, it pools in different spots. My calf is the worst. There is a pool of pain in the middle of my calf. The only time I’m not in pain is when I’m lying down or on medication.

So I medicate because I’m a wuss. It means I can do stuff though. Not much because there’s still pain, but some stuff. The downside is that everything is hazy. Originally I was on some muscle relaxers and loritab. Nice enough but not very effective. Like I said yesterday, my doc now has me on Lyrica and Percocet. The Percocet helps with the back pain and the Lyrica really knocks down the nerve pain. However, there is a noticeable “drugged” feeling. Also, the Lyrica kind of blurs vision and that’s probably the most unpleasant aspect because it acts with the reduced mental acuity to make everything seem kind of surreal. Not bad if you’re lying in bed with no worries, kind of uncool when you’re at work and you need to get things done.

Folks, my wife had to help me spell Tennessee last night. I’m not sure what’s more painful anymore.