New digs

Things have been growing a bit stale 'round here. I've decided to make the move to Tumblr.

You can find me at Alt + Left Arrow. There's not much there yet, but I am very fond of how Tumblr works so there will be stuff.

If you can't stand the heat...

Don't move to Memphis.

I have been to some awfully hot places on this planet and this summer in Memphis is ranked right up with the hottest. Our heat index hit 130 the other day. That kind of heat is just hard to fathom. How do you even contemplate doing anything outside in that kind of heat? I remember training for football season this time of year when I was in junior high - I would call child protective services on someone who wanted to make kids train outside in this weather. We got ourselves a miserable heat wave and who knows when it's going to end?

However, about this time last year (middle of July, actually), our AC broke. And it was down for several days. We had to replace the entire unit, inside and out. It took time to get everthing installed and there were complications after that. Although them temps were 20 degrees cooler last summer, those few days made things plenty miserable.

So, even though my AC struggles to keep my house in the low 80s during the peak heat of the day, it's a blessing to have it. But my next house will have two units :)

The drive-time beat-down

I used to be able to drive forever. Between J-Mom and me, we could have driven New York to LA in one continuous burst of tandem driving. But times have changed.

This past weekend we drove from Memphis to my parents’ home in north-central Louisiana then to Dallas and then back home to Memphis. It’s been a while since I’ve done that kind of driving and it was tough. Tougher than I thought it would be.

Daughter Number 1 and The Boy had been staying with my parents for the past couple of weeks. They had a great time, but were very ready to come home. After picking up the kids, we jutted out a bit further west to Dallas to visit some friends who moved from Memphis a little while ago.

Our visit there was nice. It had been a very long time since I’d last been in Dallas – though technically we were in a suburb – I was pretty impressed at their traffic management. Sure, there’s still gridlock, but for a city its size, Dallas does pretty well. DN1 said that the area we were driving into reminder her of Phoenix, but with trees. I think it was a pretty apt description.

We debated a bit over what to do with our time Sunday. There was some discussion about going to Six Flags, but rational thought won out. It was too hot, it would have been too crowded and a couple of the crew were not feeling 100 percent well. Instead we went here. Fantastic way to spend some time on a hot day.

Otherwise, a lot of time was spent watching shark-related programming and resting. J-Mom and her gal-pal got to spend a lot of time catching up and that made the trip all the more worthwhile.

Up to this point, we all doing pretty well (other than a few sniffles and a couple of oncoming colds), but the drive home was brutal. Next time, and there will be a next time, we’ll have to have some time between driving in and driving out.

Smile

I saw this at Linkiest:

Can you spot the fake smiles?

My Results
You got 14 out of 20 correct

It's not as easy as it sounds.

Someone’s gotta do it

Sorry for the break in service, but I just haven’t had much to talk about. Everything’s either been kind of the same old-same old or just too depressing.

On the same old front, things have been quiet around here. My parents took Daughter Number 1 and the boy with them back to Louisiana for a couple of weeks. We go to pick them up this coming weekend. It’s amazing how quiet the house gets when you only have one of three roaming around.

This Saturday I volunteered at a certified barbecue judging class. I’ve been judging for the Kansas City Barbeque Society since earlier this year and it’s a lot of fun to be involved in this kind of stuff. It was a full class. There were 36 wannabe CBJs and the event organizer had to turn away about 12 more because we simply didn’t have and more room. These classes are great because you not only learn about the KCBS standards for barbecue, you get to go through what is essentially a mini-judging. The organizers provide samples of the four meat categories – chicken, ribs, pulled pork, brisket – and they’re presented to the students like they would be at a real contest. It’s a bit more laid back, but very similar.

There is a contest coming up here in September that is part of the local International Goat Days Festival. I really wish I was clever enough to do something with all that information, but there it is. The local township has a goat fest, we’ve got a sanctioned barbecue contest as part of it and I can’t even find something funny to say about that. Goes to show my state of mind, I guess.

Happy 5th, Bo!

My youngest turns 5 today! Five years packed full of moves, growth, change, craziness and barbecue.

Bo is a source of constant joy. He has a wonderful sense of humor and is always interested in making people laugh.

Below the fold here are a few things I've posted here about or inspired by my son. Happy birthday, boy.

Hitting delete

I had a nice, long post worked up where I was talking about hobbies and the energies we pour into them and I just had to select all-delete. Too whiny. Too scattered. Too …

Whatever.

In lieu of any enlightening content, here’s a thing:

I write like
Vladimir Nabokov

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

You too can try it!

Of course, I ran through the thing a bunch of times with a bunch of different posts. Dan Brown popped up a few times (and I almost jumped out a window) , Stephen King a few times, Chuck Palahniuk several times, H.P. Lovecraft a couple and William Shakespeare once (right). So, I’m a very uneven writer. Tell me something new.

It really wasn’t that bad

I took Daughter Number 1 and a couple of her gal pals to see The Last Airbender last night. Avatar: The Last Airbender is her absolute favorite program on TV. I didn’t know that much about it, but was pretty interested based on the previews I’d seen at movies and on TV, but then it started getting crucified by reviewers. It has an 8% fresh rating on Rottentomatoes; for some perspective, Twilight: Eclipse has a 53% rating, Signs (Perhaps Shyamalan’s dumbest film ever) has a 74% rating. Obviously some people just don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.

Anyway, the plot’s not all that important. It is suffice to say that a young boy has a great destiny and a great power and is going on a great journey. Beyond that, there are lots of big fight scenes, action sequences and special effects. It this a good movie? Well, not really, but it’s not bad either. It’s a popcorn flick and as such it really gets a bit more leeway in my estimation. Also, it’s a popcorn flick geared toward younger audiences based on a kid’s cartoon. I just really don’t understand why so many reviewers feel the need to pile on all this hate. Let’s take another perspective shot – Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel has a 20% fresh rating. Come on! Again, The Last Airbender is no high-minded fare, but it’s better than animated chipmunks.

My final analysis is to wait for video. It’s really not worth seeing in the theater. Oh, by the way, we saw it in 2D – after Alice in Wonderland I refuse to see any live-action film in 3D until convinced it really does something for the film – and it came off just fine.

Best therapist ever

To have a new post

I've been neglecting ye olde blog, here for about a week, so I guess I need to put something up here. It's so much easier to post stuff on Facebook ... sigh

The last of our company left Saturday. We drove them out to Little Rock to catch their flight. Next time we're gonna have to get folks to fly into Memphis! Little Rock's not too bad a drive, but it is three hours, one-way. Enough whining. We had a good time with all the family and they are already missed.

I have a link of the day: Johnny Depp is rumored to play the title role in a rumored Doctor Who movie. In a way, I'm happy that there's enough interest for a movie to be made, but I really don't want a movie to be made. I mean, why? Why do it (other than the obvious money reasons)? The series is great and rather cinematic. However, it would be nice to see the Doctor in action on the big screen, and I'm sure Johnny Depp would do well.

The biggest problem with the proposed film is that Russell T. Davies may write the screenplay. Expect a movie full of hope and promise that ultimately leaves you feeling bitter and unsatisfied.

Uncanny valley and botox

The other day, my wife, sister-in-law and I were talking about plastic surgery and how unreal a lot of people are beginning to look because of botox and the like. We discussed how that unreality kind of inspires an unconscious revulsion in some people – admittedly, this is not a universal reaction, but I would argue there are enough to make the statement valid. Thinking along those lines, I was reminded of the theory of the Uncanny Valley.

Please take a moment to check out the link – it’s a quick read – but, basically, the Uncanny Valley theory deals with robotics and animation. It postulates that when robots and animation look *almost* like humans, it inspires revulsion. TV Tropes has a good section with some practical examples. Thinking in terms of animation, there’s a reason why animators cartoon-up their products. Think about the movie the Polar Express or the CGI in Beowulf – they were both *realistic* but still not quite right. For a lot of people, this was a huge turn off.

Now, to take this a step further and into the realm of plastic surgery, think about stars who have been accused of using botox (or Google). The Wiki Uncanny Valley link has this to say about the phenomenon as it pertains to what they call transhumanism:

According to writer Jamais Cascio, a similar "uncanny valley" effect could show up when humans begin modifying themselves with transhuman enhancements (cf. body modification), which aim to improve the abilities of the human body beyond what would normally be possible, be it eyesight, muscle strength, or cognition.[29] So long as these enhancements remain within a perceived norm of human behavior, a negative reaction is unlikely, but once individuals supplant normal human variety, revulsion can be expected. However, according to this theory, once such technologies gain further distance from human norms, "transhuman" individuals would cease to be judged on human levels and instead be regarded as separate entities altogether (this point is what has been dubbed "posthuman"), and it is here that acceptance would rise once again out of the uncanny valley.[29] Another example comes from "pageant retouching" photos, especially of children, which some[30] find disturbingly doll-like.

The TV Tropes link specifically mentions botox in their categories of where to find examples of the Uncanny Valley:

Botox (or any plastic surgery disasters for that matter) tends to send a real flesh and blood person sliding into the Uncanny Valley. Examples: Dolly Parton, Joan Rivers, Dr. Frederick Brandt (who is a client to his own products).
- Collagen injections make some vict... er, patients have faces bloated like someone with a shellfish allergy at an all-you-can-eat shrimp bar.
- You've seen nothing. Say "Hi" to Marijke Helwegen, a walking advertisement for plastic surgery.

All this to basically say that I’m fascinated by all of this. It makes perfect sense to me and it explains exactly why you can look at a photo of a recently botoxed film or TV star and think they look great, but feel quite put off when you see a video of them. Because that’s another part of the theory – the uneasiness is far more extreme in motion than in stills.

Again, I’m not really going anywhere with this. Just thought it was interesting.

Michael Yon still isn't right

There are those who are calling the Rollng Stone article on Gen. McChrystal proof that everything Yon has been saying the past several months has been true. Maybe Yon called it on McChrystal, I think the jury's still out on that, but maybe. A Blackfive author has come out in support of Yon and U.S. Report has gone as far as calling Yon "prophetic." Again, maybe he was right about McChrystal. However my beefs with Yon (here and here) have nothing to do with his feelings about McChrystal and everything to do with his presentation of himself, his professionalism (the lack thereof) and the fact that he will not legitimately debate any point but rather launches attacks and slings expletives at those who would dare question him.

Take a moment to check out this audio clip from the G. Gordon Liddy show featuring Yon and Blackfive's Uncle Jimbo: LINK. Does Yon actually say anything here?

I must again say that I have been a fan of Yon for a very long time and it pained me greatly when he started launching all these attacks against the "crazy monkeys," etc. I would so like to see him go back to reporting, letting us know what the guys on the ground think. He needs to get his voice out of the story. And just one bit of advice for him: If it seems like the world is out to get you, maybe you need to think about why.

UPDATE: OK, maybe they had a little to do with his feelings about McChrystal, but it was more about the way he presented them than how he actually felt. One day he was praising McChrystal as brilliant, the next day (after losing his embed) he's criticizing him and the "crazy monkeys."

Findings on the Square

I spent the majority of this past Saturday in Mountain View, AR. I had never been there before and it is quite a lovely little town. I was there for a barbecue contest, but what really captivated me was their old-timey town square. I wish I had gotten a better picture of the square, but all the barbecue teams were set up around it and I didn’t really have a good shot. This pic of one of the square’s main drags kind of gives you an idea of what’s going on there – all the little, eclectic shops right in a row.

After the judges’ check-in, there is usually an hour or so to kill before the competition starts. That’s usually spent shooting shit with your fellow judges or walking around and seeing what teams are competing (though we’re not allowed to fraternize with teams on judge day until after judging), but this time, with so many cool shops offered, I decided to walk around and see what there was to see.

There were a lot of flea market style stores masquerading as “woodworking,” “general store,” and “military surplus.” In the military surplus store I stumbled upon something I’ve been kind of craving for a while – old school cast iron pans. Anyone who has bought cast-iron cookware recently is familiar with the texture of modern pans. It has a rough, pebble-blasted texture that is nothing like the smooth finish of pans our grandmothers used. So, to find some old Griswold pans (stacks of them!) in this store was quite the find. Better than having found them was the price. I picked up a 10-inch skillet and almost dropped it on my foot when I saw they only wanted $22 for it.

Now, did I buy any? Of course not. I pretty much had gas money for the day and couldn’t really see myself spending the money for something I don’t really *need*, but, man, it was hard not to.

Sometimes window shopping has to suffice. But there will be future trips to Mountain View. Blanchard Springs Caverns is only 15 miles north of the town. It’s only a three-hour drive, so that’s a perfect family trip on a long weekend. Caverns and cast iron sounds pretty cool to me.

I've got company

The mother-in-law and sister-in-law arrived Saturday and are staying two weeks. The brother-in-law and my three nephews arrived yesterday.

My house is exceeding max capacity.

It's cool though because we don't get to see everyone very often. It's been a year since we got to see MIL and SIL, about that long for BIL and longer since I've seen my nephews (tehcnically, I haven't seen them this time yet either, they got in after I went to bed last night).

The next few days should be quite interesting.

Happy 235th US Army

I am proud of my 9 years out of that 235. I miss a lot of things about it. And there are a lot of things I most certainly do not miss. What's weird is that a lot of the things I find myself missing now are things that, at the time, sucked the most.

OPSEC, Michael Yon and STFU

Uncle Jimbo at BLACKFIVE has yet another piece up concerning Michael Yon.

Please go read it, but for those of you who don't Yon received an email from a troop in Afghanistan who completely violated OPSEC by telling Yon all of the flaws in the security at the FOB where he is posted. Yon, rather than informing the chain of command, goes and posts it for the world to see on his HIGHLY-TRAFFICKED website and Facebook pages.

Now, for whatever reason, OPSEC tightened. Did Yon's post have anything to do with that? Who knows? But the truth is that this might embolden other troops out there to attempt the same thing. Or worse. And eventually this is going to bite us in the ass.

I’ve got personal ties to both fronts of this war, but OPSEC doesn’t only matter when someone you know has their neck on the live. It should always matter.

The soldier out there in the sand knows better and Yon should damn well know better too. Yon continually beats up McChrystal and Army PAOs for being kicked off embeds. Well, after publishing crap like this it doesn’t surprise me one little bit. Hopefully Yon never finds his way back onto the battle field. Dude went from being one of the greatest voices for our forces in the war to being a huge liability.

The trials of barbecue judge

Barbecue contest number four took me to Nesbit, MS, on Saturday for the 2nd Annual Desoto Shrine BBQ contest. It was a lovely area and the Shriners have quite the compound out there. The contest was part of a larger event - the Shriners had a car and tractor show and a concert for the evening. I didn't stay for any of that - just the barbecue - but I got to see some nice cars and cool, old tractors.

It was kind of intimidating to be honest. The Shriners' compound was, as my choice of the word "compound" implies, a fenced-in area with several buildings. There were a lot of bikers helping control the influx of vehicles. Once parked though, they had tractors pulling trailors of hay bales giving rides to the back of the compound where there was a little pond where they held the contest. It was within walking distance of the parking lot, a good walk, but still a reasonable one, but the heat was so extreme that the ride was welcome. Temps were in the mid-90s Saturday with a heat index making the "feels like" temperture soar to the mid-100s. Fortunately our judging was inside where the AC was kicking.


We're not allowed to photograph any of the entries, so this is as close to that as I can get. My judging plate, scoring slip, pencil and water - all the essentials - are ready to go. Unfortunately, the fact that this was still a young event was pretty evident. There were a few experienced teams out there, but my table didn't seem to get any of their entries (except maybe for the pork category). Overall the entries we judged weren't as good, on average, as my previous three competitions. But none were as bad as the worst I've had, either.

According to the contest reps, this was the first year the event was sanctioned by KCBS, so I guess it's to be expected that the majority of teams were going to be newer to the competition circuit. The event itself was very well organized and went off without a hitch on our end of things. I plan to judge the event again next year. Hopefully it will pull some teams away from some of the other nearby events that go on the same weekend. This has a superior prize purse to some of them. We'll have to wait and see.

Next weekend - Mountain View, AR.

Plug and a post

The plug: Hey, check out the snazzy new poll I posted today in my sidebar. Let me know what you use to cook out with.

The post: Earlier J-Mom called me to let me know that my son, yet again, was being cute.

Some background - The Boy has never approached playing with toys quite the same way I did as a youth. He's always thought of playing with toys as "making movies." He'd set everything up and play with them, but he wasn't "playing" he was shooting his movie. At first, he wondered why he couldn't see them on TV, but has since come to realize that he has to shoot them with a camera, etc.

Over the past couple of days, he's gotten very interested in the concept of making real movies. He wants to make a movie that pits his hero - All Powers Man (who he portrays), against the villain - some kind of guy who freezes things (portrayed by me, apparently). He was talking to J-Mom about the costume - see, All Powers Man cycles through his powers by punching a button on his costume.

He's four years old, people. OK, almost five. But still.

Is this what a budding filmmaker looks like? If so, it’s pretty freaking cool in my estimation. I think we’ll be breaking out the Flip cam over the course of the next few weeks and see what we can do with it. I have some video editing software too, so we may even be able to add some special effects!

I think we’re going to have a lot of fun with this.

Making better barbecue part 4

Having covered some of the essentials in cookers and cooking (Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3), I thought I’d cover some outdoor cooking accessories that, while not necessarily essential, make outdoor cooking easier.

You have a cooker. You have meat, rub, sauces, etc. You’re ready to get your barbecue on! And, well, that’s pretty much true. But what I’m about to list are some items some pitmasters consider indispensible while some are just nice to have.

One-handed handstand FTW

Daughter Number 2 is awesome.