Monday, July 10, 2006

A taste of my Monday

I edit a newspaper. Poorly. But still.

It's a weekly and not hard. I don't stress too much. Except Mondays and Tuesdays. Mondays and Tuesdays I do all the work needed for the paper. On Mondays I have to edit stories. Which means I have to deal with submissions from our contributors.

Submitters send us stories with sentences like this:

Procrastination should not be wrongfully added to a safety minded approach to engaging a tough decision.

What the hell does that even mean? Why, oh why, when people start writing for "publication" do they think they have to attempt to prove they know a bunch of $1.50 words, which actually winds up proving they can't write?

If that's not enough for you, here's the next line:

Life makes the living of it hard at times, yet we must proceed.

I have no comment for this. Except that the author obviously copied it from a poorly translated book of Mexican philosophy.

Then there's this:

If I am seriously facing a life and death scenario, patience may be needed on all fronts. If I am making a leadership decision that will impact more than cronies and overpaid minions, waiting is the order of the day.

Quick, it's a life or death situation! Round up the patience! It's needed up front!

All this from a chaplain. What are our colleges teaching?

Hope you enjoyed the taste of my Monday.

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