Viva la resolution

Having a birthday two days after the new year begins can be a difficult way to keep some resolutions you might have attempted to adopt. To be fair to myself, it's not a new resolution. It's not really a resolution, more of a long-term goal. I just have little self control.

Long-time readers of the blog and those who know me know that I've been trying to exercise more and eat better for some time. There have been some successes, but they always fall away due to something or other. I am committed to doing better this time around. Seeing my family and seeing the health issues they are dealing with because of poor life choices has really lit a fire under me.

My dad has smoked and eaten poorly for as long as I can remember. And now he's sick more often than he's well. He lost his mother, father and younger brother to lung cancer. An older brother has emphysema and pulls an oxygen tank along with him. But my dad refuses to quit smoking and has pretty much accepted the fatality of his decision. He won't even go to the doctor to see why his chronic cough and chest congestion won't go away. I think he's afraid to find out. And my children have invested their love into this fatality. It's very difficult to watch.

On my mom's side, my grandfather has had several heart attacks over the past 20 years. He's in his 80s now and I think the only reason he's been able to carry on is his bullheadedness. He has always been active and is still always doing something and I think that's what has contributed to his longevity. But his heart problems are due primarily to his poor diet through his life.

Looking at both of these family histories has really opened my eyes lately. I quit smoking two years ago because I wanted to be healthier and wanted to stop spending so much money on the habit. It was very hard to do, but putting down a pack of cigarettes and never picking them up again gets easier as time goes on. It's certainly easier than eating better. You don't have to smoke. You have to eat.

Yesterday I tried. I started my new program. I woke up early, went on a walk and did some crunches. I had a V8 (with hot sauce!) for breakfast and ate well through the day. Until the evening. When your 7-year-old child really wants to get you cake and ice cream, well, it's hard to say no.

This morning, I didn't get up early and walk or anything. But I did have my V8 for breakfast (which, I should explain, is a pretty big thing for me to do -- I never eat any breakfast and this serves as a way for me to get nutrients and such to help start the day and not have a bunch of fat and gunk). I have a good lunch and snacks through the day. Hopefully I won't fall off the wagon.