Tuesday, October 18, 2005

When you think you know more than your boss …

It seems it's office day among many bloggers today. I felt I'd contribute.

The worst person I ever worked for is in many ways also the best.

He is guilty of many crimes against sanity. As I mentioned in an earlier reply on another post, he chronically used homophones. His worst had to be using "granite" when he meant "granted," although he was guilty of the more common accept/except, insure/ensure, affect/effect (though who doesn't screw that one up?) and others.

He was also horribly guilty of one of my biggest pet peeves - chronic office speak and the misuse thereof. Not only did he overuse terms like synergy or outside the box, but he'd use them in completely improper ways.

For example, one of his favorite sayings, shortly before he moved on to other things, was BLUF (bottom line up front). Which isn't in itself a bad thing. It's a policy, put the end state first and then explain how it happened. Instead of putting the bottom line up front he would have a HUGE e-mail with a lot of explanation and then the BLUF.

Something like:

1. Trying to understand why students cheat.
· Students are natural economizers.
· Students are faced with too many choices, so they put off low
priorities.
· Many students have poor time management and planning skills.
· Some students fear that their writing ability is inadequate.
· A few students like the thrill of rule breaking.

Would be written:
· Students are natural economizers.
· Students are faced with too many choices, so they put off low
priorities.
· Many students have poor time management and planning skills.
· Some students fear that their writing ability is inadequate.
· A few students like the thrill of rule breaking.
BLUF: Trying to understand why students cheat.

Man, it would drive me crazy. I would ask him to send important e-mails though me to edit before he sent them out to his bosses.

However, the man knew the Army. He was the kind of guy who read regulations in his free time. If he wanted to know something, he didn't hang out with people and try and learn, he would read the regulation and tell the people how they should be doing their job.

Under his tutelage, I learned Nuclear, Biological and Chemical procedures, supply chain management, Unit Movement Officer procedures and how to be a detachment noncommissioned officer in charge (this is a position for an E-7, I was an E-5). I was wearing more hats than anyone else I knew and was doing the job of someone way above my pay grade. While most E-5 sergeants were leading E-4s and below and taking care of squad business (they had senior NCOs and officers above them), we were a small unit of only 8 people (fully staffed). My NCO had moved and there was only me and my officer. I was hanging out with other E-7s and E-8s, captains, majors and lieutenant colonels. It wasn't where I wanted to be, it was simply what I had to do.

And my boss was a great teacher. Not because he took the time to hold my hand and show me every little thing and how it should be done. No. He would say, "This is where we are at now, this is where we need to be. Go." Sometimes I had to come back for more instructions, sometimes I found someone else to tell me, sometimes I was able to figure it out all on my own. But baptism by fire was proven to me to be the purest way of testing someone's mettle.

One of his favorite sayings was, "I'm not going to tell you how to f**k the dog. I'm just telling you to f**k the dog." I hated hearing that for a lot of different reasons, but I've learned the truth of the statement. It's office Darwinism. And it's true.

So, to Maj. I, wherever you may be, I appreciate all you did for me and the office. Even though you were the greatest prick under the sun.

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